<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>call me by your name by orphan_account</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165203">call me by your name</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crying, Emotions, First Kiss, Fluff, Foreplay, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Stormpilot, kind of?, poe gives finn his last name, poe is a cocky asshole, proposal, stuck in the millennium falcon, what rose kiss?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:48:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Like- Dameron?”</p><p>Poe was suddenly all ready to explain himself- but- yeah. It didn’t really… need explaining.</p><p>“Finn Dameron,” Poe said softly, the words sending a shiver up his spine as they came out. They felt warm. They said, <i> family. Finn is family. Finn is my family, and Finn belongs to me. </i> </p><p>Ah. Shit.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Finn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>318</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Without hardly any warning from the galaxy whatsoever, Poe found himself stranded on Hoth in the Millenium Falcon, with only one other person on board with him. That person was Finn. </p><p>“We hit the jackpot.”</p><p>The ex-stormtrooper chucked a packet over to Poe from the other side of the main cabin. He caught it with ease, snatching it out of the air and looking down at it with a slight smile. Rations. Lovely.</p><p>“Sure looks like the jackpot,” Poe replied, prising the bag open to reveal the wonders inside. Those wonders were dried flakes of something or other- stuff that didn’t particularly taste any better than it smelt. He didn’t mind it. By the looks of Finn’s face as he chowed down on the stuff, he didn’t either. </p><p>So. Hoth.</p><p>The run wasn’t supposed to be long. They’d left base roughly 4 hours ago, and were due to be back in only another 4, except they were far from that. Everything had seemed to have gone wrong, as all good things often did- even Millenium Falcons. Something to do with the engine, Poe had tried to reason as it stuttered and coughed to start up properly after the emergency stop. He was all ready to get out, go and check what exactly the problem was, except- well. They were stranded in the middle of a giant body of snow, and they’d definitely seen a wampa or two walking around out there. No cover, immediate danger to beasts, and cold. So it was settled. No leaving the ship.</p><p>Rey solidly and firmly agreed with them when she grabbed up the comm mic, talking to Finn and Poe quite feverishly, as if they were both six year olds.</p><p>”Don’t go out, that’s just unnecessary risk. We’re sorting out a team, some engineers- with luck they’ll be with you in about 8 hours? <i> Stay out of the cold, don’t be stupid.” </i></p><p>Most of this was just what they’d already been told- but they both just listened with amused smiles, squished into the cockpit together and sharing the same awkwardly twisted up headset. Many had said Leia was the ‘mom’ of the Resistance (even in death, God rest her soul)- but if they were being honest? It was fucking Rey.</p><p>They’d said their goodbyes, made sure their signal was giving off coordinates, and went to find food. It wasn’t that they wouldn’t be able to survive the 8 hours without it, but why not if it was right there? </p><p>“This stuff sucks,” Poe said eventually, lying back on one of the cabin seats with one foot up, the other swinging back and forth. It was dry. A little tasteless. He didn’t even know what it was. “How are you eating that?”</p><p>“Hungry,” Finn replied easily, crunching on more of it. “It’s not tha’ bad.”</p><p>“You’re spraying food everywhere, asshole,” he laughed in reply, swatting a hand in front of him. The guy was just sat on the ground cross legged, an empty packet of the rations already at his side on the ground. As if he’d gotten through <i> two.</i> The dude smiled somewhat smugly. “Weirdo.”</p><p>Nothing was bad about this. It was a strange outlook for Poe to have, but he had it. It was just a quick mission that had gone slightly wrong. It meant instead of working, they had to sit around and have fun for 8 hours. That was all that Poe <i>expected</i> it to be, anyway- him and Finn, fucking around, taking advantage of the lack of General around to tell them to stand at attention. They had the Falcon all to themselves for nearly a day, and hell, it was basically a day off work. He was sure he’d feel very differently about it all in a couple of hours- but right now, it felt like a treat. </p><p>Maybe it was down to the workload back at base. Maybe it was Finn. He didn’t wanna think about it too much. </p><p>“Open.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Poe pulled his frizzy brown waves back, knitting his eyebrows together in concentration, and lifted a ration chip. He tapped at his mouth.</p><p>“Open. Go.”</p><p>Finn eventually managed to figure out what Poe was getting at. He complied, not without a quizzical eyebrow raise at his friend first, but opened his mouth in the end. Poe tossed the chip, and it flew through the air neatly to find it’s place on Finn’s tongue. He crunched down on it, eyes crinkling up.</p><p>“Nice shot.”</p><p>“I thank you.” </p><p>The hour passed in comfort, just the stupid ramblings of two people who had spent way too much time together filling the air. The chips were also in the air, until all the spare rations were either eaten, or on the floor. <i>Just another day. Shut in a ship in the middle of nowhere.</i></p><p>They found themselves both lying on the cabin floor at that point, side by side but opposite ways, staring up at the ceiling. Their feet were propped up on the seats either side, and Poe was pleased to find the quiet symphony of nothing for five minutes. They’d been badgering non stop for an hour. Now they’d stopped, the quiet was just comfortable. Sweet. </p><p>“I’m happy,” Finn said after a while of silence, his voice a little quiet and faded from the other side of the floor. Poe blinked his eyes open.</p><p>“Yeah?” he mused. “Why’s that?”</p><p>“Dunno.”</p><p>Thank you, Finn, for intelligent conversation. </p><p>His feet shuffled around somewhere above Poe’s head before he offered a substantial reply. </p><p>“Everything’s good at the moment. Noone’s trying to kill us. Rey’s okay.”</p><p>“Yep,” Poe agreed, understanding it. Grace period. Nothing in particular to think about. Just now, and nothing else. “It’s been real nice. Nice break.”</p><p>Another moment slid by again, before Finn piped up, clearly still on the same topic in his head. </p><p>“Rey’s figured it out. Like, who she is.”</p><p>“Mhm.” He didn’t mean to sound disinterested- it was a very agreeable hum, that vibrated warmly through the air and exuded <i>’I know, I am so very glad.’</i> Finn seemed to grasp that, 100%. “I think the Skywalker thing helped,” he agreed quietly, thoughtfully. “‘S cool. They would have been honoured to hear her take the name. Leia. Luke. Han. All of them.”</p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>Finn’s whisper into the cabin seemed full of a lot that Poe couldn’t immediately grasp. It felt weighty, like there was a lot of thought inside the single world, and it didn’t come to him straight away. It didn’t take him too long- after all, Finn was easy to read. The dude still had a lot to learn.</p><p>“You thinking about your name?”</p><p>He asked it the moment the thought hit him, just because it was what he did. He was good at just saying what he thought, and then out it was. Finn didn’t seem too torn up by it, though. Poe heard his breath break the air from across the cabin, maybe a huff of relief that it was out, or something. </p><p>“Kind of.”</p><p>There was another second of silence, before Poe rearranged his feet, pushed off the seats, and went sliding backwards. He slid upwards into a sitting position right where Finn’s feet were, and he gave one foot a hearty slap to encourage him to follow suit. Finn slid up too, sat across from Poe with his back to the seats. </p><p>“Like how? Finn not good enough for you?”</p><p>He was just teasing, and he knew Finn knew it. He just smiled weakly, shaking his head.</p><p>“I love that name.”</p><p>It was all he said, but Poe really felt the warmth from it. He understood why Finn did.</p><p>“But,” Poe interrupted, eyebrows raised again, “people have second names. So you feel left out.”</p><p>“A little.”</p><p>Poe couldn’t begin to try and imagine what Finn had been through. Didn’t want to linger on it for more than a second. But sometimes it was necessary to understand your friends, to meet them in the middle. And hell, if Poe wasn’t gonna keep doing that. </p><p>“The thing is,” Finn continued slowly, “it’s… family. That’s what they mean. It’s who the Skywalkers were- <i>are</i>. It’s what Dameron is. A family. They give you a… place, almost? I don’t know.” He sighed, leaning his head back against the paneling. He swallowed before continuing. “Rey found her family. She’s part of that, it’s her legacy. But… I don’t know what mine is. I don’t even know who my parents were. And I don’t know what kind of legacy I have, right now.”</p><p>The words sent a dull pang to Poe’s chest. He took a second to think over it all, but the words were hard to pull away from, like each sentence clung to him just a bit too much. Uncomfortable. Sad. Shit, he didn’t even know.</p><p>Because Finn <i>did</i> have family. They’d found each other, Finn, Rey and Poe- they were as tight as anything, they were <i>each others</i> legacies, in a way. Fate pulled them together and it’d sure as hell keep them like that. They’d done so much. If that wasn’t family, he didn’t know what was.</p><p>But it was different, for Finn. Poe had a father, he had a mother. He remembered his heart breaking as a child when the news had came back, <i> Shara Bey-Dameron is dead </i> and how it changed his whole damn world. He remembered how much, growing up, family meant to him, and in doing so he realised what Finn had missed out on. Finn felt alone. He felt afraid. That he was the only one with nothing to look back on. No <i>family.</i></p><p>And it made Poe’s chest want to cave in. Because dammit. </p><p>He heaved a sigh, leaning his head back too. </p><p>He’d do anything to stop Finn feeling that way. Feeling like there was no place at all for him anywhere in the whole galaxy. Feeling like he was alone. Feeling like he had <i> no one who cared about him like family. </i> Because he was fucking wrong.</p><p>Poe’s head rolled back down to look across to Finn. The guy looked meek. Just… god. The puppy-dog eyed look he made when he thought too much. Doubted himself. </p><p>“Hey,” Poe said, suddenly. The realisation was a little explosion in his stomach. He probably should have thought on it- but he didn’t. He just said it.</p><p>That was his <i>problem.</i></p><p>“You can take my name.”</p><p>The words hung in the air for a second. Like time had stopped.</p><p>Then, about a minute later, Finn’s mouth finally shut from being slightly open, and Poe was suddenly averting his eyes. </p><p>Wait, no.</p><p>
  <i> No. You mean this. Just look at him. </i>
</p><p>Poe’s gaze was sharp, suddenly. Finn looked lost still, but something moved around in his eyes as he tried to process what Poe had just said.</p><p>“Like- Dameron?”</p><p>Poe was all ready suddenly to explain himself- but- yeah. It didn’t really… need explaining.</p><p>“Finn Dameron,” Poe said softly, the words sending a shiver up his spine as they came out. They felt warm. They said, <i> family. Finn is family. Finn is my family, and Finn belongs to me. </i> </p><p>Ah. Shit. </p><p>He found himself breathing slightly off beat thinking about it, realising what the idea of ‘belonging to someone’ entailed. Maybe he should have thought this through.</p><p>“Finn Dameron,” Finn echoed, and Poe’s chest cavity just collapsed in on him and died. </p><p>“Maybe it’s a stupid idea.”</p><p>“No. No- I want it.”</p><p>Poe blinked.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>Finn was pretty still on the other side of the cabin floor, and that was when Poe realised the sheer amount of space between them. So he fixed it.</p><p>In a quick and apprehensive shuffle, Poe pushed away from the seats, shuffling across the floor and turning until he was sat next to his friend, their knees nearly touching. Anything closer felt dangerous, or something. </p><p>“I just mean, like,” Poe tried, on edge, “family. You’re my family. You know that. Right?”</p><p>A nervous smile bounced across Finn’s face as he looked down. Laughed a little. Then he turned to Poe again, serious, skittering dark eyes not quite meeting his. Poe felt like his heart was in his damn throat. Fuck. It was that thing, that <i>thing</i>, it was happening. And Finn hadn’t ran out into the snowy nothing of Hoth yet to get away from him- so that was a good sign. </p><p>Finn looked almost comically frozen, his lips pinched in an almost smile, his eyes fixed tight on Poe’s knee. Like he was thinking a lot. Like he was scared that  if he moved, he might just fall apart into a million pieces. He was quiet. Maybe… anticipation. </p><p>Poe’s confidence edged him more. After, like, two minutes, and after he’d stopped hearing his heart beating in his ears so loudly. He reached out with a hand. Tapped Finn’s chin, hand lingering there.</p><p>“Right?” he asked again, softly, searching the eyes that weren’t searching his back. Finn’s nose was twitching. No- he was shaking, just a little. His lips still turned up. </p><p>Poe tapped his chin once more. Finn blinked and his eyes shifted. </p><p>“You,” he said, quiet but… alive. Bright. Maybe hopeful. Or maybe <i>Poe was being hopeful.</i> “Mean that in… what way? Like- <i>family.</i> Family is different things. I don’t know what- I don’t know what you’re getting at, I’m-“</p><p>Finn waved his hand in front his face a little to illustrate his point. Poe could practically feel his eyes shining. God, he was pathetic. He cracked a chuckle, looked down, and so did Finn. </p><p>
  <i>It was so electric. This. Poe couldn’t be wrong, maybe he was never wrong. </i>
</p><p>“Family is family,” he said simply, and possibly a little stubbornly, with a glint in his eye that said, <i>go on. You go first. I dare you. </i></p><p>Finn was staring at him like he’d lost his mind, and Poe’s fingers were still lingering on his chin. He didn’t feel like Finn was turning around and running any time soon- so he felt comfortable just still, staring into Finn’s anxious eyes, waiting for something. Maintaining the moment. </p><p>He loved the thrill. Anticipation. It was like being in his T-70 X-Wing, looping and spinning at 3,800 G. </p><p>Just better. This was better.</p><p>“Why you lookin’ at me,” Finn finally mumbled out, his cheeks firmly and most definitely darker and his eyes all shiny. The rush Poe got… fuck.</p><p>“Because I like looking at you,” he replied so simply, and Finn nearly looked away again.</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>“What’s what?”</p><p>“You. This. Us.”</p><p>“What do you think it is?”</p><p>He couldn’t believe he was pushing it. Poe Dameron, subtly cocky up to his eyeballs, doing <i>this.</i> Pushing it. Going forward to try and take what he’d wanted for so, so long. Initiating everything like he’d ever wanted to, but tiptoeing around the one last thing that he’d been so terrified of, just on the off chance Finn would get it. He must get it. He had to get it. </p><p>His expression told Poe he did. His lips had gone a little slack. Nerves radiated through him in the moment. And the last thing- the thing that Poe was waiting for- the man’s eyes flicking down, fluttering, to look at Poe’s lips. Silent confirmation. </p><p>Poe gave him all the time in the world to pull away when he leaned in, but Finn didn’t need it. </p><p>When their lips pressed together it was hard- all the sincerity that Poe had in his being thrust into one whole motion. His fingers grazed Finn’s chin as he caught his lips in his, and he let his eyes slip shut, just feeling. Finn was still. Then Poe parted his lips, <i>kissed</i> the man, and they <i> melted. </i> Liquid.</p><p>Poe moved with all the courage he had, and Finn followed. He tasted like nothing but warmth and soft, and smelt so desperately of what he’d grown to call home. Addicting. Poe moved his mouth, deepening the kiss with a kind of desperate hunger, and suddenly their tongues were touching and <i>fuck</i>. </p><p>Poe groaned, voice deep, cracked. Finn hesitated and stumbled, like he hadn’t done this before. Probably not.</p><p>Poe broke away for half a second, panting, eyes dilated. He was about to say something, grounded suddenly in hard reality as he saw Finn’s stunned, lost, <i>uncomfortable?</i> expression- then Finn was kissing him again- he- <i> Finn was kissing him again. </i></p><p>
  <i> It was happening. </i>
</p><p>Finn didn’t know how to kiss. Poe had kissed enough people to have been able to figure that out pretty fast- and the idea that he was <i>Finn’s first</i> made him blush like a fucking child. Poe moved his lips against his, rolling his tongue experimentally. Slow and wet. Languid. Finn was so hesitant. But he responded. Quiet, unsure... wanting. Maybe. Maybe Poe was lying to himself, and his ego just had him by the throat.</p><p>He pulled away. His face was dark pink, cheeks fucking burning up against tan skin, lips parted and wanting. He pulled his hair back, panting, looking at Finn. He was breathless, too. Wide brown eyes staring at Poe, shining, pupils dilated, a sheen of sweat to his skin and saliva still clinging to his perfect fucking lips. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. </p><p>“This- this a thing?” Poe asked, meaning for it to come out more literately. His voice was slurred like he’d been drinking or something. His head felt foggy.</p><p>“Don’t,” Finn replied, and if they were standing up Poe’s knees would have given out from underneath him. Finn’s voice, all deep and sticky like honey, his expression as he said it, fuck-</p><p>“Don’t what?” Poe replied easily, even though it really wasn’t easy to keep his voice steady. He moved in, hand to his knee. “What’s wrong?” Cocky. Shut up. Stop it.</p><p>“Never done this,” Finn said back. “Don’t know what you expect.”</p><p>“You wanna do this?”</p><p>A beat.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Poe smiled. He was sure if he could see himself, he’d be disgusted.</p><p>“Then I expect you. No one damn else. Come here.”</p><p>Finn’s hands found Poe’s jacket as Poe grabbed him back in, and they kissed like they were desperate for eachother.</p><p>Poe couldn’t speak for Finn, but hell- <i>he</i> was desperate. </p><p>He hadn’t wanted anything more in his life. That was for damn sure.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is my first attempt at stormpilot so FEEDBACK IS WELCOME. i may carry this on if enough people want it..? i can make it get saucy if y’all want, drop your thoughts and critique :,,) thanks for readin</p><p>also yeah, the title just felt fitting. like, call me by... your actual name. finn dameron... get it.. ahahaa i need sleep</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finn was really shy, when you got down to it. All the nitty gritty. </p>
<p>Poe supposed it made perfect sense,  despite the fact Finn could be so outspoken and loud. He had a real ingrained excitement for life, that Poe could imagine bursting through the seams when he was a Stormtrooper. It must have. He tried to imagine being oppressed for that long, forced to live one way with no means of joy, adventure, family. Finn? Without his joy? His excitement and curiosity? His <i>humanity? That wasn’t Finn at all.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Anyway.</i>
</p>
<p>
  Finn was bright. Not particularly as obnoxious as Poe, not a show off, or a thrill seeker, or an adrenaline junkie- but he was <i>bright.</i> Always up for anything. He’d never turn anything down and he’d <i>always</i> find something to laugh at. It almost felt desperate, like he was trying to hold all those new and wonderful things as close to him as possible. As if they might be ripped away again. The thought of it made Poe want to punch someone. Really hard. Because of Finn’s past, or lack of, he was shy. He didn’t have a natural sense of authority like Poe, or even half the ego. He was bold and social, but he wasn’t confident. He was still questioning everything, and who could blame him? What else would he be doing? Finn asked the questions, Poe answered. It was the natural order now, like clockwork, and Poe half expected it when Finn’s shy sides started slipping into their kiss. 
</p>
<p>
  Poe hadn’t stopped again yet. Mainly because if he did that, it’s give Finn a really good window to run away. That thought only expanded when Finn’s intensity slowed, his mouth a little stiffer against Poe’s again, his breath stuttering. Poe caught it in a heartbeat. 
</p>
<p>
  The wet sound they made when Poe came away was way too intimate for them to leave the Millennium Falcon the same. 
</p>
<p>
  Sincerely, <i>fuck.</i>
</p>
<p>
 Finn’s eyes were so dark staring into Poe’s when they stared at each other, that he felt his stomach turn inside out.
</p>
<p>
 “Good?” he mumbled, eyes not leaving Finn’s lips for a second. “Good, bad, good? Am I readin’ into this too much, not enough-“
</p>
<p>
  “Good,” Finn said. Poe’s hands came up to touch his the sides of his face, his thumb dragging along Finn’s cheekbone. 
</p>
<p>
  “You want me like this, buddy?” he asked breathlessly, whispering about half a centre metre away from Finn’s face. Finn looked like someone had broken him. Done. Out of commission. 
</p>
<p>
  “Like this..?” he echoed. As if he wanted to have it clarified.
</p>
<p>
  First time? Okay. Maybe clarification was needed. Poe pulled him as natural as if he did it every day, giving him another kiss, just so much deeper. Their lips slipped between each others, his tongue found it’s way into Finn’s mouth. Finn hummed a groan, and Poe <i>felt</i> it. He pulled away with a smacking sound.
</p>
<p>
  Finn blinked, dazed. Then, he seemed to slowly catch up with the world.
</p>
<p>
  “You like kissing me,” he declared, a little loud against the hushed, intimate scene they’d created, eyebrows knitted together almost comically. Poe really wanted to laugh.
</p>
<p>
  “Glad you picked that up, you fuckin’ numbskull,” he grinned, and <i> holy shit, holy shit.</i> Finn was grinning right back. “You wanna do it again?”
</p>
<p>
  Finn let out a shaky breath.
</p>
<p>
  “Yes. Please.”
</p>
<p>
 In hindsight, they probably should have spoke about it more. It was Finn’s first time doing anything like it. They were rushing into it after they’d spent months being close friends. It was happening so fast- but Poe let it happen. Of course he did.
</p>
<p>
  His hand slid around Finn’s neck, relishing the warmth as he started tangling their tongues again. <i>C’mon, Poe. Calm down. His first. You’re his first. Be gentle. </i>
</p>
<p>
  Then Finn pushed him on his back.
</p>
<p>
  His shoulder blades hit the Falcon’s floor with a *thud*, and he gasped as the pain went through his shoulder.
</p>
<p>
  “Shit, shit, sorry,” Finn babbled from somewhere above him- until Poe’s hand was grabbing at his collar, and yanking him right down on top of him. 
</p>
<p>
  “God, I shouldn’t have liked that as much as I did, I’m going to hell,” he breathed, grinning wide and raising his eyebrows under a lock of brown curls before pulling Finn down for another kiss. Finn’s arms were either side of him. His left leg was slotted in between Poe’s legs, now.
</p>
<p>
  “Can I touch you,” Poe asked. He shouldn’t be doing this so soon. He was gonna scare him off. Ruined his chances.
</p>
<p>
  Then Finn nodded, and smiled back, all cheeky and also really <i> sheepish,</i> and Poe was ready to shoot right on the spot. Nearly.
</p>
<p>
 His hand scrambled around Finn’s waist, reaching up to run his palm under his top. Finn shivered as Poe used his other hand to touch his jaw, trace down his neck, finger at the collar of his shirt.
</p>
<p>
  “I’m being too fast.”
</p>
<p>
 Finn caught Poe’s wrists as they went to move away.
</p>
<p>
  “No. This is perfect.”
</p>
<p>
  “Yeah?”
</p>
<p>
  “Yeah.”
</p>
<p>
  “You sure, Finn?”
</p>
<p>
  “I’m really sure,” Finn nodded, pupils actually huge. Poe felt flattered to a very un-Poe-ly amount. “I didn’t know what this was. But then you kissed me, and yeah, damnit, I know now. It’s whatever this is. And you want it to.”
</p>
<p>
  Poe smiled.
</p>
<p>
  “I want it to.”
</p>
<p>
  Finn’s face split into a grin, a laugh escaping him.
</p>
<p>
  “<i>You want it too!</i> Holy shit, Black leader and Resistance sweetheart Poe Dameron wants me-“
</p>
<p>
  “Black leader and Resistance sweetheart Poe Dameron just <i> proposed </i> to you, don’t downplay it,” Poe told him firmly, his confidence suddenly getting the better of him as he rolled his hips up to meet Finn’s. Desperation. “Poe Dameron needs you to take his clothes off or he might just combust, c’mon, fuck Finn-“ 
</p>
<p>
  Finn looked shifty and nervous for about half a second. His face contorted into... something. Poe <i>had</i> just kind of proposed, so... damn. Damnit.
</p>
<p>
  Then his fingers went to Poe’s collarbones, and he started undoing the buttons on his shirt.
</p>
<p>
  “Wow,” Poe breathed, mainly to himself. He reached out as Finn got to work, grabbing the hem of Finn’s own top and yanking it over his head. His breath hitched. “Can I?”
</p>
<p>
  “Yes,” Finn confirmed, grin prominent through the nerves as he popped the last button. Poe shot up and scooted back on his ass, dragging Finn with him until he was backed into the wall. It was then he reached up, feeling Finn’s gorgeous, firm stomach with the palms of his hands, running his hands from there everywhere he could reach. Waist, chest, fucking <i>abs.</i> Finn had some abs on him. Poe watched his own fairer complexion press against Finn’s beautiful expanse of dark, and he was suddenly very aware that his eyes were about to pop out of his socket. 
</p>
<p>
  “You,” he said, suddenly smushing his nose right into Finn’s stomach. He felt Finn jump under the touch- and shit, he was going too far again- but then he felt a bubbly laugh, and Finn’s hand was suddenly in his hair. 
</p>
<p>
  “Is it weird,” he began, voice all light, “that I’ve always wanted to touch your hair?”
</p>
<p>
  “No,” Poe groaned, the hand that wasn’t still pressed against Finn coming up to grab at Finn’s grip. “Do it.”
</p>
<p>
 Poe was so aggressively/violently needy. Probably both. Finn knew. 
</p>
<p>
  “‘Kay.”
</p>
<p>
  Finn pulled Poe’s head in towards him more, so his forehead was rested on his stomach. Then, he was moving his fingers in Poe’s waves. Poe exhaled.
</p>
<p>
 “Shit.”
</p>
<p>
 His eyes were fluttering shut when Finn stopped. He blinked back up. Finn’s beautiful eyes were looking down his nose at Poe, a twinkle there. Poe was gone. Like, seriously gone.
</p>
<p>
  “Good?”
</p>
<p>
  “Fuck yes it’s good,” Poe said, exasperated, grabbing his friend’s hand again and putting it back. “I have a hair thing. Less question asking and more hair shit.” He cleared his throat a little. He looked up again, then moved his face, rubbing the stubble of his beard across Finn. His lips skimmed his skin. The little beg came out low, gruff, and caught too much in his throat. “Please.”
</p>
<p>
  Finn seemed so willing to comply, which made Poe’s heart flutter. The guy bit his lip with a smile before talking. Low and velvety. 
</p>
<p>
  “If you take that shirt off. I didn’t unbutton the thing for nothing, commander.”
</p>
<p>
  Poe was <i>gone.</i> 
</p>
<p>
  “General, actually,” he replied stubbornly, but it didn’t really have the effect he wanted it to have, due to how breathy his voice had became. He was pathetic. “And you. General now.”
</p>
<p>
  Finn pulled Poe’s shirt off his shoulders.
</p>
<p>
  “God knows why Leia made <i>you</i> general,” he said, and Poe was about to retort back- when Finn’s mouth was suddenly ducked down and on his left nipple, hand petting as his hair. He moaned. 
</p>
<p>
  God, maybe he had a point.
</p>
<p>
  “F-uck,” he whispered,” arching up to meet Finn’s touch as he felt his tongue, hot and wet on his chest. Did stormtroopers just know this stuff? What kinda damn training were they doing? He’d liked to have asked, but he was otherwise occupied. “Finn, shit, I’m so stupid. I didn’t think you liked me, or even m-men, I stayed quiet, I didn’t kn-ow, I shouldn’thavewaitedIreallyshouldn’thave-<i>aaah-</i>”
</p>
<p>
  Okay, so he was a little sensitive. Poe had always been a little bit <i>like that,</i> but this was just something else. Maybe it was because it had been so long since he’d been with anyone physically. Maybe it was because of how lonely he felt, how probably touch starved he’d become. Or maybe it was this overwhelming pull he felt towards Finn. That he’d been ignoring. 
</p>
<p>
 He didn’t have to ignore it anymore, and it was the better than he could have imagined. 
</p>
<p>
  Poe’s hands came up to cup at the back of Finn’s head, fingers moving in his thick hair at every manoeuvre Finn’s tongue did. Imagine absolutely losing it at foreplay. What a lame ass. 
</p>
<p>
  “You’re good,” Poe commented breathlessly, after pressing his face into Finn’s hair and inhaling his scent. “Really good.”
</p>
<p>
  Finn’s tongue flicked once more at Poe, his teeth <i>nipping</i> at his nipple once before moving away, leaving the pilot a shivering mess. 
</p>
<p>
  “Research,” he explained, a little breathless himself, his skin adopting a hot, sweaty glow. Gross. Beautiful. Poe wanted to lick him. 
</p>
<p>
  “Shit,” Poe uttered, before yanking him into a kiss again. It was electric. Everything. He shivered. He was the sappiest man he’d ever met and he <i>hated it.</i> 
</p>
<p>
  Finn felt so solid. So real. His hand massaged through Poe’s hair as the pilot moaned breathily, eyes fluttering in the bliss. His legs pressed hard against his. Finn’s mouth on his chest as he broke away from Poe’s lips to stoop low again. Heavy. Hot. Sensitive. Not an hour ago, he wouldn’t have imagined. He daren’t. That of all people the people he’d ever managed to crush on, the one man he’d actually <i>loved</i> liked him back. The one who seemed so far from reach. He was like a damn god, he was. His mouth was still moving. His breath was solid and tickled his skin. So careful. So gentle. So gentle.
</p>
<p>
  This was supposed to be Finn’s first time. but Poe had never experienced this.
</p>
<p>
  Shit.
</p>
<p>
  His breathing hitched as Finn went less soft, teeth grazing. His head was lolling back into Finn’s hand, limp, giving control to him.
</p>
<p>
  “Sensitive?” Finn joked, laughter in his voice that vibrated deep against Poe’s chest- then, suddenly, Poe sucked in air. 
</p>
<p>
  Finn looked up at Poe and the two tears that were suddenly streaming out of his eyes, and the stuttering breath that caught in his throat.
</p>
<p>
  <i>”Hey, Poe.</i>Shit. Are you- are you- wait.”
</p>
<p>
 The look on Finn’s face made Poe shake, <i>for no goddamn reason,</i>a pool of something hot and gross and sicky rising in his stomach as Finn almost bounced away out of fear. Almost. Finn was more careful than that, of course. He pulled away, slowly letting his hand fall from Poe’s hair to the bottom of his shirt instead, where his fingers suddenly were. They were working at the bottoms in a quick scramble to do them up. Finn looked... well. Confused. Afraid. Anxious. Words.
</p>
<p>
  “No,” Poe said, his hand running over Finn’s as he sat up and made the feeble attempt to get as close to Finn again as he could. Wasn’t working. Stupid shaking legs. “No- want it off. Want- god, <i>fuck.</i>”
</p>
<p>
  The tears were there still, his breathing all over the place, eyes red and patchy from trying to hold the rest back and lip wobbling like a child. He’d ruined it. He’d <i>ruined it.</i> 
</p>
<p>
  “Poe, what’s wrong?” Finn asked somewhat urgently, eyebrows furrowed and hand cupping his suddenly with all the care he could muster. Finn was so nice. Finn was always like that. He was so soft and calm and he just holds my hand like it’s second nature, and-
</p>
<p>
  Poe was sobbing, the first one ripping from his chest like a creature from a cage. It was a horrible, ugly hiccough that made him just want to cry even more, and apparently that was the right thing to do, because suddenly he was piled up into Finn’s chest. And that was very much adequate.
</p>
<p>
  Sobs fell through his body like a wave that had been trapped behind a dam for too long. It was cracking, and his tears and loud, ugly noisy were spilling all onto Finn. His snot too, probably. Poe didn’t cry. He didn’t really do that. But when he was a kid? He snotted everywhere. Some things didn’t change.
</p>
<p>
  “Poe,” Finn murmured by his ear, his voice so <i>deep, rumbly, weird and velvet,</i> and it just made Poe want to cry even more. It sounded like a pet name in itself. Poe. Poe. Poe. “Please tell me what’s wrong. I’m worrying up here, man.”
</p>
<p>
  Poe cried for a bit longer. He was good at ignoring people. Sometimes. 
</p>
<p>
  It wasn’t long before he was focusing on Finn’s scent more intensely, and his overwhelm was dying down. Finn was soft. Warm. He didn’t want to move. He supposed talking wasn’t the same thing, so it’d be okay.
</p>
<p>
  “‘S just a lot,” he got out in the end, voice a wrecked, deep croak. Finn’s hand ran over his back. 
</p>
<p>
  “What is?”
</p>
<p>
  Poe blinked. His eyelashes were hot and sticking together.
</p>
<p>
  “This,” he replied. “I- don’t know. I’m a prick, Finn. I’m not a <i>prick</i> prick, I’m just-“
</p>
<p>
  “I know,” Finn whispered, and Poe could hear the careful grin. The fondness to it. He wanted to punch it off his face. Maybe kiss it off his face. 
</p>
<p>
  “No, just, I don’t know. I’m not good with this.”
</p>
<p>
  “Explain it however you want,” Finn said easily, the hand not stopping. “I talk to you endlessly about all my nightmares and stuff, you can spare me at least this, Dameron. Yeah?”
</p>
<p>
  Poe’s eyes slid shut.
</p>
<p>
  “I think I’m really touchy,” he said absent mindedly, hoping the ‘think’ would make it untrue. He was prideful. He didn’t need the confirmation. “I like touch. I like attention. I’m an idiot.” Clarification. If Finn didn’t already know. “I’m really romantic, I’m really sexual, and as I said, I’m an <i>idiot.</i> Get attached ‘n stuff. I’m just good at pretending I’m not, cause it usually isn’t that deep anyway. ‘Oh, she’s hot. Oh, she stroked my ego, I’ll take her.’ But it always feels forced. ‘Cause I’m subconsciously looking for <i>anyone</i> to give me that attention. And some just don’t. Sometimes,” he swallows, blinking his eyes open before continuing, “I get the attention I think I need. But they’re rougher. The guys. I prefer women, but most don’t want me to be the-“ he illustrated with a wave of his hand. Prideful. He didn’t wanna say- <i>bottom. Submissive. Commander Poe Dameron of the Black Squadron- <i>weak.</i> “I‘ve had people who <i>do.</i> Like Suralinda. Like... Korii. And then I realise- surpise! I don’t love them. Not love love. No matter how much they wanna fuckin’... cuddle. I think I love everyone because I just want the...”</i>
</p>
<p>
 He felt Finn’s hand near the back of his head again. His fingers ran up through his waves at the nape of his neck.
</p>
<p>
 “...attention,” Poe finished with a shiver. Warm. “I don’t cry. Not a lot, I promise. This is stupid and you’re not gonna tell anyone about it. This was just... good. You’re good. And I love you.”
</p>
<p>
 Came out easy, like silk. Soft and true. Finn’s grip eased before moving again, and Poe sighed. 
</p>
<p>
  “I love you too,” he said, and god, if that didn’t feel better than anyone Poe’d ever been in, any dick he’d ever had up his ass. Holy shit. 
</p>
<p>
 “Fuuck, I’m sorry,” he groaned, sitting up to pull a hand through his hair and wipe both hands across his face. “I’m sorry, I’m an <i>idiot-</i> this doesn’t mean I’m like, fussy, I can give one day if you wanted, like Finn, I’d give it <i>all,</i> baby-“
</p>
<p>
 “Poe.”
</p>
<p>
  “Hm?”
</p>
<p>
Finn reached forward to run his fingers all around Poe’s cheeks. His thumbs were big. They brushed at his cheekbones, rubbing in circles.
</p>
<p>
  “You’re emotional. That’s the best thing someone could be. If I wasn’t emotional I’d still be with the First Order- so just you think about that.”
</p>
<p>
  Poe was calmer, which was good. Still emotional. Still exhausted. Still wanted to just slump into Finn and let him hold him there forever. Sounded perfect. Perfect. He didn’t want to think about Finn with the First Order. He didn’t want to think about Finn anywhere but there. 
  
</p>
<p>
  “This okay for you?” Poe asked finally, his hands coming up to mirror Finn’s, resting on the man’s cheeks. He watched Finn’s smile and his cheeks darken. Poe felt his chest swell. 
</p>
<p>
  “Yep. Yes. I thought I’d be all panicked. But nah.”
</p>
<p>
 
   Poe’s eyes flicked to Finn’s mouth. He was smiling again. 
  
</p>
<p>
 “Nah?”
</p>
<p>
 “Nah.”
  
</p>
<p>
 Leaning in and pressing their foreheads together was the best decision Poe had decided to make. His fingers scrambled back to grab the back of Finn’s head tight, around his ears, pushing through his hair. Finn was breaking into short laughs, and this was it, what Poe had been waiting for. The whole time.
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“You wanna nap, bud?” Poe asked easily, turning his head away from Finn’s and pressing his face into his neck. He hated to be so damn dramatic, but he smelt so secure. Strong. Homely. Warm, warm, warm. He nuzzled and breathed deep. Finn didn’t seem to mind, and that was when Poe realised just how important this was. Finn. Finn. Finn. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah. If you take the top off all the way this time.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Only if you take your <i>pants</i> off all the way.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Do it yourself.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Okay, come here.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“You c’mere.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Asshole.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“You love me.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this was gonna be porn!! didn’t end up like that!! look, i wrote this in parts on different days, it honestly turned out really weird and choppy and i dont think poe’s emotions transition very well and i just feel i coulda done a lot better. but i was too pleased with it in the moment NOT to post, so here we are. if i choose to do another chapter i’ll make sure im workin on it a bit more consistently and give it more care :,,,</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>